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Drum 'n' Bassey From New Music Express, Dec 1997 Words by Roger Morton, Photos by Mike Diver

Take one Welsh superstar diva, add a tip-top bigbeat combo and stir. OK, so Shirley Bassey and the Propellerheads are a trifle peculiar as musical recipes go, but they've come up with a mighty fine dish. Shirley shome mishtake.

An inferno of sequins blazes inside the star dressing room. An unearthly figure sits before the light bulb-framed mirror confronting her shimmering image, as she has done for the past 44 years in Shirleybiz. Her gaze is steady, regal, rigorous. Her lips purse under trowels of gloss and her eyelashes waft like zero gravity ostriches. Miss Shirley Bassey CBE, looks at herself with a penetrating intensity and historic eyeballs meet immortal eyeballs. The magic has worked. She is ready. But not quite.

"AAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNDREW! HAAAAIR! LET'S GET THE HAIR DONE!" The voice booms out like a military weapon test, sending the make-up woman into a spasm of activity and summoning Miss Bassey's personal assistant from his hiding place. Andrew, the distinctly camp and lightning-reflexed attendant springs into the room clutching arcane hair construction equipment. Of 20 men hovering around the perimeters of Miss Bassey's industrial strength celebrity, he is the only one who dares enter the diva's den.

"AAANNNNDREW! THE ROSES!" she hollers, directing the skilled valet towards the flower vase in a voice pitched somewhere between Dame Edith Evans and Barry White. Flowers are arranged, hair is coiffed, gown is hoisted. Shirley Veronica Bassey, former Cardiff factory girl, has become Miss Shirley Bassey CBE, grand matriarch of Showbiz Inc (International Glitterati Division), back from wowing the gambling mafia of Atlantic City, and lipdrippingly ready for the cameras.

As she takes a four inch-heeled step outside, the room falls silent. The film crews and silver-haired music biz veterans adopt an array of tight, fawning smiles. They blink into the glare bouncing off Shirley's frock and thrust boom microphones on extra-long poles. But they cannot disguise the fact that faced with this 60-year-old, bus pass-carrying SuperGran in stilettos, they are frightened. They are in awe. Now you wouldn't get that with Derek Dahlarge would you?

If the Propellerheads had gone down the studio with Wall Of Sound mucker Derek, and come up with a slamming, lager-spilling, shouty beat classic it would be fair enough and well done lads. But this is not Derek Dahlarge. This is Miss Larger Than Life. This is the zenith point of largin' it. The legendary, the iconic, the inspirational Burley Chassis, shopping friend of Ivana Trump, gay icon and subliminal sonic implant in the brain of anyone who's lived for more than three minutes in 20th century.

Never mind that she sang 'Goldfinger' and 'Diamonds Are Forever', played at Kennedy's inauguration or that she's 'triumphed against drink, star loneliness and family tragedies'. The measure of Bassey's insane high-life cultural penetration is not to be found in her diamond ring from arms dealer Adnan Khashoggi, friendship with Dodi Fayed or charity shows for the Rainiers of Monaco. The richness of a perennially spot-lit life cannot be summed up in headlines of '70s drunk and disorderly behaviour or reports of femme fatale entanglements with actors.

But there's one photo that tells you all you need to know about her achievement as a glam-punk jet set hooligan. It's 1987 and Shirley's emerging from a 'glittering charity thrash' in Paris. She's in her 50s but she looks like Joan Collins in her 30s. On her arm is not some Stringfellow or Elton. She's escorting Baron De Rothschild. And her left nipple is thrusting clear over the bustier of her black satin ball gown towards the smiling mega-millionaire.
Sex, power, money, stardom. And The Propellerheads? Welcome to the edge of reality.

ANNNNDREW!" FROM ATOP HER I light-tower gown, Shirley scans I the room. The video for her Props collaboration, 'History Repeating', is calling but where's Andrew? Oh there he is, down on all fours, writing out the lyrics to the tune on giant white idiot boards "They've got you working I see, darling," growls Miss B, addressing his arse. "I hope they're paying you... (theatrical pause)... because I'm certainly not."

It's a seven-hour wait to get a personal audience with Miss Bassey. The video shoot, featuring '60s extras, horn section, Shirl on a podium and Props lads Alex Gifford and Will White on Hammond, decks and drums, is a grind of slow perfectionism. But it allows us to find out exactly what Propellerheads tapes are doing disturbing the tranquillity of Shirley's Monte Carlo apartment prior to the release of the pair's debut album.

Alex, the older, talky, Hammond-playing Prop is weary from a week of Euro press. Will, the younger, quieter, hip-hoppy skater Prop is on the verge of a stomach bug and can hardly speak. Gradually, however, it emerges that the idea to write a tune for Shirl came partly from the scheming of Wall Of Sound head Mark Jones and partly from Alex's daydreaming. Pestering Miss Bassey's management seemed like a preposterous idea, but the song itself was a potent enough blast of torchiness, '60s meets '90s big-band swing and big beats to lure a curious Bassey into the studio.

The result is in fact a perfect marriage of bass, brass and Bassey which lords it over her previous collaborations with Yello (The Rhythm Divine') and, er, Chris Rea. Yes, there's a touch of Liza Minnelli and The Pet Shop Boys about it, but the tune stands up.

"I can see why people are going tc say, 'Well it's a novelty tune'," says Alex. "Because historically it would have been. Dance band, doing a tune with a singing icon and releasing it at Christmas. But I can honestly say that it isn't a novelty record."

So it's sincere? "It's a totally sincere record. Sincere in its desire to be fun, and to be a good f—ing record that makes you smile when you hear it and makes you want to dance. And that's how serious we are about our work. But, bizarre experience though it may be, it's such a f—ing honour to work with Shirley Bassey. I grew up with that voice around me and to find ourselves in a position where I can write a song and Shirley would want to sing it is so exciting.

"There will be hordes of people saying, 'Oh they're not underground any more, they've sold out, they're doing pop songs now'. Well f— 'em. If they're that small-minded, f— 'em. The underground is part of music, without the underground there would be no new music and I'm a fully paid-up member and will continue to be. What's annoying is when people are so anal about it and can't see that good music exists in all sorts of different places and doesn't have to be this week's tune released on the smallest label in the world. I just think people should get a balance and I think they are. I really think there's a good vibe at the moment.

"One of the things that's encouraging about people identifying with this 'Big Beat Phenomenon' (laughs) is that they're aligning themselves with an attitude rather than an actual musical style. I think it's about a willingness to enjoy music of any kind so long as it's loud and comes at you. You can drop tunes now when we're DJing which you wouldn't have dreamt of doing a couple of years ago."

On the podium, the groove is getting to Miss Bassey. The bass line to 'History Repeating' kicks in and she quivers and wriggles her shoulders. "Oooooh," goes Shirl. Her head goes up, she gnashes her row of killer teeth and the arms rise up. "To me it seems quite clear that it's all just a bit of history rrrrrepeating..."

The merry-go-round of time certainly seems to have done Bassey a few favours. She looks cartoon. Diana Ross as Jessica Rabbit, performing with the same mesmerising mix of fervour and absurdity that's carried her through the decades. In the background, Alex half-smiles, half-smirks to himself, relishing his proximity to the edge of showbiz ludicrousness. They've had two years of escalating weirdness, million-dollar corporate deals rejected, Adidas ads, live mayhem, chart-bound singles and stadium tour offers but today is the apex of the Props' absurdist big-beat mission.

"It's been a ridiculous year," he says. "Every time, I look back and think, 'Well what more can there be?' And there's always something else."

As a presence in the car boot sale world of big beat, Bassey is however probably no more unlikely than a fish-obsessed ex-member of Pop Will Eat Itself (BRA) or a former Housemartin (Fatboy Slim). After all, the unwritten philosophy of the post-Chemical Bros lager'n'Technics bands is pretty much 'anything goes as long as it's good ol' goofed-up fun'.

The Propellerheads may not be as bonkers as the Bentleys but they certainly have a 'f— art, let's enjoy ourselves' aspect to them. Their arrival on the 'scene' in '96 was not the result of a desire to belong, it was just Alex bumping into Junkwaffle drummer Will at a point when, after years in Bath as a jazz sax player and Grid assistant, he'd decided to enjoy himself.

"For years of doing other projects I've been conscious of trying to do something which a lot of people would like or want," says Alex. "I was always aiming at something and this Propellerheads thing is the first time I was totally honest and thought, 'F— it I'll just get on with something I like'. And it turns out that it's the only one that's got a positive reaction. So the Lesson I'm learning is to just do what feels right. And from the way people come up to us at gigs, the tunes that seem to be the most requested are things like 'Velvet Pants'. And I think that's really nice, 'cos it's a pretty absurd tune."

Ah, 'Velvet Pants'. If there's a key to the success of the Propellerheads, it's in the pocket of 'Velvet Pants'. Sure, the grooves of 'Take California' and 'Dive' and 'Spybreak!' are funked-up and powerful but the attitude that goes with it is sampled-up stoopid levity. Bentleys levels of goof are absent from the Props' new album, Decksandrumsandrockandroll but there's enough present to locate the Props perfectly between The Chemical Brothers and the lunatic fringe.

They are, perhaps, The Comical Brothers. Their samples are silly. There's a chaos of styles that ranges from the funky Bond theme 'OHMSS' (done for David Arnold) through the Yello gone-motorbass of 'Echo And Bounce' to the human beatbox puffing of Will on 'Number Of Microphones'. And then there's 'Velvet Pants' the 70s jazz-hop piece that features samples from a 1969 documentary called The Groupies wherein some very dopey girls talk about, erm, velvet pants. With its Beasties-like melange of dumb and clever, 'Decks' is a great record, precisely because it doesn't take itself too seriously.

"It's a comedy album, innit? That's what you're saying," frowns Alex. Well it's not the work of a pair of tortured artists. "That's because it's the work of people who are having fun. It's dance music for fun times, really, and that's what we're committed to doing. I don't mean that it has to be disposable and there are some tunes that will last there, but at the same time if it does make people smile then that's great, i like smiling myself and probably most other people do too.

"I like tunes that make me want to wiggle in some sort of way and usually in a fairly daft way. Not necessarily slapstick things, but things which are a bit wry and sounds which have got character and make me think of... things which conjure up the idea of... funky animals and things." Funky animals? "Yeah, we're sort of like a Johnny Morris for the dance music world. Animal Magic with beats."
I suppose you don't get a lot of guns and crack down in Bath, so 'reflecting the urban nightmare' might be a bit difficult. "Yeah, well whether or not we did, I'm a middle-class white boy, and that's my experience and I'd be being pretentious if I was going to try and reflect some urban environment. It gets right up my nose when people get righteous about their urban environments when they're actually pretty comfortable. If I wanted to be political I'd choose a more eloquent medium than instrumental dance music."
So Johnny Morris is more you than say, the agonised likes of Radiohead? "Yeah. And they don't do any good impressions of animals."
If you had to choose between an evening with Johnny Morris or Radiohead, which would it be? "Oh Johnny Morris definitely. I think I'd remember that for more than a week."

Despite his Euro-press fatigue, Alex could still talk the hind leg off a Johnny Morris. In his electronics student days he did a bit of stand-up comedy. Today his conversation wiggles round themes as diverse and loopy as: 1) The wonder of Tokyo's golf courses - "The whole place is all little hummocks and bunkers and flags. Nice for a stroll. I kind of fancy the Sean Connery angle of striding around the links." 2) The beauty of his new strap-on 70s Moog synthesiser -"It's very Cameo-style. A kind of throbbing red and codpiece stylee thing and it sounds like a very bad motherf—er indeed. I quite fancy appearing onstage with Will doing the beatbox and me sporting this very excellent thing and sort of throwing down the jam." And 3) The definition of funk - "Johnny Morris dressed as Bootsy Collins, riding a marmoset."

But the time for our audience with Shirley is drawing nigh so we address ourselves to the more vital questions. 'History Repeating' will top off the Props' chart-climbing endeavours at home. They're forging ahead with film work, possibly doing music for Lost In Space the movie, and they're still fending off Coke-sized corporations' requests for adverts. But what of their US future, particularly after the Chemicals' triumph over there? "We got offered the mega-stadium tour and decided not to do it. Even the biggest codpiece looks quite small when you're on a stage that big. But we're applying ourselves to America in our own way. The industry there's gone mad for it. They're all like, 'Oh wow, all the rock kids are getting dance now and we can sell them a whole bunch more records'. So we're trying to tiptoe round that attitude a bit and hook up with people who can relate to it. Fortunately we've done a deal with Dreamworks and they seem to see that. "I think we're going to start small, where the beatbox and codpiece can work, and see where it leads us...

So where do you think it's all going to end up? "I don't know. We have no plan. We have no agenda. We just have a grin."

THE PROPS HAVE THE GRIN BUT Shirley has the glimmer. With a final magnificent display of sequinned vogueing La Bassey finishes spraying the cameras with the magic of Shirleybiz. Andrew rushes to her side, relieves her of the glass of champagne she's been gulping between takes and carries her off the podium. All back to Shirley's then? The time has arrived for Alex and NME to enter the diva's den.
On the wall behind her a further four armour-plated gowns hang like slaughtered mirrorballs. Andrew stands guard at the door. And Miss Bassey's good friend the Dynasty-esque antiques dealer Beaudoin Mills looks on with an expression of bemusement as the DazzleGran holds court.

'I'm going to get drunk." Very good idea. "Is the bottle finished? I shouldn't have shared it with anybody." Shirley stares around her, beaming randomly. Alex shifts In his seat. NME says: Pleased to meet you, I'm from the NME. 'Ah... What's the Enemy?" New Musical Express. "Aaaaaaaagh! I've never heard of that. Well, New Music Express, I've never given an interview since my teenage days. Well, my early 20s. Enemy? Why do they call it The Enemy? Oh. N - M - Eeeeel Oh I was thinking like friend or foe!" No, no. Erm, can you tell me why you agreed to do this song with the Propellerheads? "Well perhaps you should ask Alex why he wrote the song for me. I mean, this grandmother and this young man here. He told me that he was in bed, thinking about me. Haha! What made you think of me, though?" Alex: "Because you attack every song you do with such character." Miss Bassey: "Yeah, but I thought that you would think of the Spice Girls, or somebody more your age. Younger. I'm honoured. You could have thought of Tina Turner. But you thought of me! You're a fan!"

Alex stutters and searches for words. Miss Bassey: "Listen, I'm glad you didn't think of Tina Turner. She's had enough hits, I need a hit!"
Do you take much interest in new music now? "Oh God, yeah, I mean, I love the Spice Girls. I'm a singer. So I'm interested in who's coming up and who's going down." Do you think the Spice Girls are alright, then? "Well I was the original Spice Girl. I didn't wear those boots, but I wore the see-through things. There's nothing they wear that I didn't wear. Except a mini onstage. Oh yes, I did one time. I had a long skirt and then I walked onstage and took it off, and it was a mini underneath. I've done it all. I mean anybody that comes out with diaphanous gowns, then yes I've done it all."

How many dresses do you have? "I don't know. I never wear half of them. I had to hire a warehouse for them, they'd never fit in my flat." Do you think that's what's wrong with pop music these days - not enough sequins? "Hahaha! Well, glamour. Yes. Sequins is glamour... Did you say sequins?" Sequins. "Now yes. Glamour. Believe me, I've been in the business 44 years and I've seen them come and go, I've seen great talents and they've ruined it because they don't change."

Did you ever get into acid house? Miss Bassey: "No. When I say f love music I'm talking about music. I mean beautiful... I'm not talking about acid, hard rock, heavy rock and metal. That, to me, is not music. Anybody can do that. To me, that's tuneless. I'm talking about music that you can listen to, you can make love to, as in Sinatra records, old, lovely romantic... That's music." Who do you like nowadays? "I like Julio Iglesias. Michael Jackson's a great talent to watch. I mean I wouldn't buy him to listen to, because he's visual." .
Whitney Houston? "Great voice." She's borrowed some of your style. "I don't think so. She's gospel. I didn't grow up from that. When I first went to America after 'Goldfinger' and I walked out onstage in Las Vegas I opened with 'Goldfinger' and I had no response, because there was no publicity in I America about me. Nobody said this girl is English or Welsh and she's half black." So these people! And I couldn't understand them and for two nights it was terrible."

You've always steered away from anything political. Why's that? "Well, it's either romantic attack, love lost, love gained. No." You never wanted to do an angry song? "No, not at all. And I don't think any singer should do that. When they use a platform for that, I'm very against it." Why do you still do so much touring? "Ach. I just came back two days ago. I can't believe it, I'm jet-lagged!" Do you think pop singers have it easy now? "Oh God, yes. We had to pay our dues to become stars. Now, you have a hit record, and you're a star. But I feel sorry for them, because as fast as they rise, they don't know about the business, and they come crashing down and they go on the drink and drugs. They have this sudden fame and everybody fawning over them."

Do you have to be hard to survive as long as you have? "Well, I think generally you have to be hard to be in the business. To stay there, I think you have to know what's going on and have a kind of vision. Say, hey... Like Foreigner did 'I Wanna Know What Love Is', and I loved it for two years. I played it and played it. And I didn't know how I could do it. It took me two years to work out how I could do it. And that, I'm very proud of." Ahuh. Do you like Oasis? (Shakes head sadly) "No I'm not a fan. I think I heard them once, but unless you touch me here... It's got to move me."

I wanted to ask you about diamonds. "Girl's best friend." Is it true? "Yeah, they don't let you down. And they last forever. And they don't betray you." Have you been giving Alex advice? "We've only met three times. I don't really even know him. This man's given me this lovely song. I could kiss him. No, I mean if your wife allows me..." Alex: "Er, I'm not spoken for yet." Miss Bassey: "I thought you were married! Oh well, there's a chance for us yet! But I'm too old for him. I've tried to tell him. How old are you? Truth!" Alex: "Erm, 33." Miss Bassey: "My God! I have a son your age!""

WITH THE PROSPECT OF ALEX being whisked away to Monte Carlo as Shirl's toy boy growing ever more likely, a film crew bursts into the room. Miss Bassey is outraged. "Get out of here! No, you're not filming at all! I've had enough today!" The dressing room falls into chaos. Alex's grin tightens. Shirley swings her empty champagne glass around dangerously. And a film crew woman tries to bribe Bassey into answering some questions by presenting her with a fashion mag featuring the Welsh Wondergran herself. "Oh wonderful!" screams Shirley. "I did three sessions that day. I mean I'm a grandmother! I should be retired! I've got my bus pass! Andrew! Why didn't you get a copy of this for me? You're fired. I need more champagne! AAAANNDREW! CHAMPAAAAAAGNE!"

History, as the Props have reminded us, has a habit of repeating itself. But there are those among us who somehow manage to slip outside the loop of time, and create their own chronology. Not to say their own universe. Shirley Bassey is one of them. And by joining forces with the diamond geezers Alex and Will, the diamond diva has made a toy boy of history. After all, Judy Garland never landed a lethal platter bang on to the fade-up side prong of a pair of world-conquering '90s big-beat Technics.

© New Music Express 1997

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